Speaking Thai in Vietnam

Dien Bien Phu- Tuan Giao (Coffee)- Quyhn Nhai (Lunch)- Than Uyen

Kilometers Biked Today: 200, Hours in the saddle: 6

Today’s ride was uneventful with one exception.  All along the ride were Thai and Tay tribes.  We watched them working as we rode along.  Vietnam has over 57 ethnic groups.  The Viet are the number one group, making up over 80% of the population, but the Thai and Tay (all speaking a more original form of Thai) make up about 2 million of the population, or just under 2%.  Toward the end of the ride, we stopped for a drink in a small village shop.  As we went in for cokes, the guide said that I was from Thailand.  The shop owner was surprised and started speaking Thai with me. This was not the Thai I speak in Bangkok, but closer to Lao or Isan.  However, we were able to communicate and probably understand about 60% of what each of us was saying to the other.  I’d guess a native speaker would be able to speak about 80% with him.  Somebody from Lao or Isan would be able to speak even more.  

As the conversation switched from what I did, who my wife (mia) was, and why I liked Thailand, he asked me to sit down in a chair next to him.  We were the first Americans he’d ever seen, and ones who spoke his tribe’s native language, or at least a derivative for of it. At that point, he noticed my arm hair and started petting me like a cat.   He commented that I had arm hair, and asked me if I was going to ไปบวช or shave it off to become a monk.  

As he continued to pet me for the next ten minutes, or so, Shara, Bryceson, Jenna, and Daan, our guide, were doing their best not to wet their pants laughing.  Bryceson shot a couple of photos of us sitting together, and the conversation switched to something more serious: Americans lost the war in Vietnam because we couldn’t walk around barefooted.  He pointed out my shoes and said that I should be walking around barefoot.  When I explained that, even now in Thailand, most people wear shoes and don’t walk around barefoot.  He was amazed at the idea of Thais wearing shoes (instead of flip flops or walking without shoes).  

"You know, Auntie," I said, "You are Thai as well, but you just don't have a king anymore."  This earned a large laugh from his wife, daughter, and the shop owner.   He was also very interested in my protective riding gear, or my knee, I’m not exactly sure which, as he petted me and shook my hand.  

After gauging me for a few more minutes- and continuing to pet my arm hair- he asked me how much money I make per month.  I didn’t really answer, but he said, “You must make at least $2000 US per month.”  

“Sure,” I said, “something like that,” not wanting to make him feel bad.   

His eyes lit up, "Do you want a Vietnamese wife?"

"You'll  have to ask my mia luong (head wife) if I can have a mia noi (minor wife)."  Again, this received another, even more animated round of laughter from his wife.  Shara played along very well, telling him that she would not accept a minor wife.  I never imagined I’d have a tribesman trying to marry me off to his daughter.  Hilarious.  

As we said our goodbyes and departed, he walked with me to my motorcycle.  He kept saying, “$2000...every month,” as we walked.  Again, he shook my hand, and then said, “yes, you’re going to Sapa.  Come back again soon.”  

It’s strange how you make connections in this world.  If you would have asked me two years ago if I’d be speaking Thai in the mountains of northern Vietnam, I’d have called you crazy.  However, today was another testament to how little most of us truly understand of our world.